A Gentle Reminder This Mother’s Day

Self-Care for Mothers

Mother’s Day arrives every May with cards, flowers and tokens of appreciation for moms everywhere. For some, it’s a happy celebration filled with breakfast in bed, time spent with loved ones and cherished gifts. For others, it can be bittersweet and marked by grief, exhaustion or even unmet expectations. This day is also an opportunity to reflect on something often overlooked: your own well-being.

Motherhood is often synonymous with selflessness. You’re expected to be the caregiver, the organizer, the comforter, the one who shows up – no matter what. This makes it easy to overlook the very person needing the most relief.

This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to look inward. What are YOUR needs, hopes and boundaries? Here are some ideas on what self-care can look like and how you can reclaim a bit of it for yourself this May.

1. Redefining Self-Care

Self-care is not only pedicures and spa days, although those are my personal favorites. True self-care is anything that helps you reconnect to yourself such as:

• Saying no when you have a to do list a mile long

• Calling a friend who listens without judgement

• Setting down the mental load for an hour, even if the laundry piles up

• Going to counseling

Self-care is something you feel - a return to a calm state, becoming grounded and a reminder that you matter too.

2. The Mental Load is Real

So many mothers I speak to carry what’s called the “mental load”. It’s that endless to-do list in our mind such as needing to buy more dog food, remembering that next doctor’s appointment and knowing which chips your toddler enjoys most. Mothers are constantly anticipating everyone’s needs around them. Almost like it’s hardwired into us. And it’s exhausting.

Yet so many moms feel guilty for seeking help. Does this sound familiar? One step towards self-care could start with delegating those tasks. Remember, you don’t have to do it all to be a good mom.

3. Boundaries Can Equal Love

I know boundaries can feel selfish, especially when you feel everyone relies so heavily on you. Perhaps it would help to view boundaries as a healthy way to protect your energy and preserve your peace. And don’t we all need more energy!

It can be a simple act of self-love such as turning off your phone for an hour on Sunday afternoon. This allows you the space to recharge and prevent burnout. Boundaries help balance our mental health so we can keep showing up.

Your needs matter!

You’re not failing when you pause - you’re recharging.

4. Caring for Your Grief

Mother’s Day is not joyful for everyone. Some are mourning a mother who has passed. For others, difficulty around relationships with their mothers are stirred, and even painful reminders about fertility struggles are highlighted.

If this is a difficult day for you, remember you can tend to those feelings. You are allowed to skip get togethers and acknowledge your loss. You can feel both thankful and sad. Nurturing those emotions is very important self-care work.

5. Here’s your Permission

Can I tell you something important? You don’t have to earn the chance to rest. You don’t have to reach your breaking point before you give yourself a break. You get to decide when you feel burnt out and need a break. You know yourself best!

The main thing I would encourage you to remember is never apologize for needing a break. I invite you to ask for help, take the nap or even step outside to calm yourself when you need it.

6. Modeling Self-Care for Kids

Kids are watching closely how you treat yourself and tend to mimic what they see. By modeling behaviors that prioritize your needs, they learn that their needs are important too. Children learn that boundaries are okay and taking time to rest is allowed and more importantly, needed.

This helps shape the relationship they have with themselves as they grow. As well as creating healthy adult relationships they form in the future.

Final Thoughts

Mother’s Day is the perfect opportunity to appreciate all that you do for others. But I hope this year you also take a moment to honor yourself. You are not only a mom. You deserve joy, connection and relaxation just like everyone else, and not just on Mother’s Day, but every day.

Remember that caring for yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. How else can you give to others if you’re pouring from an empty cup? Please know that you matter and self-care is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and those you love. Please reach out if you need support during this season of life.

Happy Mother’s Day.