Back to School Anxiety is Real: How to Help Your Teen Cope
Backpacks, Bedtimes and Big Feelings
Each year, as summer winds down and backpacks are dusted off, many families prepare for school. For some teens, that transition brings excitement - a fresh start, new classes, friends, and activities. But for others, the thought of returning to school brings a wave of anxiety that’s hard to shake.
Back-to-school anxiety is real, and if you’re a parent watching your teen struggle, you’re not alone. Today’s kids experience high expectations, social pressures, and uncertainty so it’s no surprise that many teens feel overwhelmed. As a counselor, I see it every year: teenagers talk about stomach aches, difficulty sleeping, nervous feelings and breakdowns.
So what can parents do? Here are some practical ways to support your teen through this season.
What Back-to-School Anxiety Can Look Like
Back-to-school anxiety doesn’t always look like fear or tears. For teens, it often shows up as:
Irritability or moodiness
Withdrawing from friends or family
Sleep issues (trouble falling or staying asleep)
Frequent stomach aches or headaches
Avoidance (not wanting to shop for supplies, talk about school, or attend orientation)
Negative self-talk
Sometimes these behaviors are obvious. Other times, the signs are subtle or brushed off as “normal teenage stuff.” But if your teen seems especially on edge as school approaches, it’s worth exploring deeper.
Why Teens Get Anxious About Going Back to School
For many teens, school is a primary source of stress. Not only are they navigating academics, but they’re also trying to fit in, meet expectations, and figure out who they are — all while dealing with social media, hormones, and sometimes very real mental health concerns.
Here are a few common triggers I’ve observed for back-to-school anxiety:
Fear of judgment or bullying
Academic pressure or fear of failure
Social anxiety or feeling like they don’t belong
Big transitions (like moving from middle school to high school)
Previous negative experiences at school
Uncertainty or lack of control (new teachers, new routines, new expectations)
Back-to-school is more than new classes and changes - it’s an opportunity to help your teen feel capable, confident, and supported.
How to Help: Supportive Steps Parents Can Take
Helping your teen manage back-to-school anxiety doesn’t mean fixing everything for them. It’s about creating safety, building skills, and showing up with empathy — even when they push you away. Being there to guide them can create resilience and give them the confidence to navigate the anxiety in a healthy way.
1. Start the Conversation Gently
Instead of diving straight into questions like “Are you ready for school?” or “What are you nervous about?”, try easing into a conversation with more open-ended or observational comments:
“You seem a little off lately — is something on your mind?”
“I remember feeling kind of stressed before school started. Do you feel that way sometimes?”
“Anything you’re excited or worried about with school coming up?”
The goal is to create space for them to talk, without pressure or judgment.
2. Normalize the Feelings
Let your teen know that what they’re feeling is valid and common - not something to be ashamed of.
You might say:
“It makes total sense that you’re feeling anxious. A lot of people do before school starts - even adults before a new job.”
Normalizing emotions takes away some of the shame and let’s them know they’re not broken or weak - they’re human.
3. Focus on Sleep, Routine, and Structure
A predictable routine is helpful for anxious brains because it removes the unknown and creates structure. Help your teen slowly shift their schedule back to a school rhythm - earlier bedtimes, less screen time, consistent meals - without making it a power struggle.
If possible, involve them in setting up the routine. Teens are more likely to follow a plan they helped create.
4. Practice Exposure and Problem-Solving
Remember that avoiding what makes them anxious (such as school supply shopping or walking through the building) only makes the fear grow. Help your teen face small parts like this:
Visit the school ahead of time
Map out their schedule
Role-play how to ask a teacher for help
Make a checklist of what they can control (like organizing their backpack or picking out their clothes)
Breaking down big fears into manageable steps is empowering - and helps build confidence.
5. Teach Coping Skills (Without Preaching)
Teens roll their eyes at lectures, but they’re surprisingly open to tools that actually help them feel better. You can model and suggest things like:
Box breathing: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
Grounding exercises: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel…
Journaling or doodling out their feelings
Positive self-talk: Helping them catch and reframe anxious thoughts
Keep it simple and non-pushy - even small moments of calm help the nervous system regulate.
6. Watch Your Own Anxiety
Kids and teens are emotional sponges. If you’re panicking about their experience, they will absorb that energy.
Try to model calm confidence, even if you're worried inside. Saying things like:
“I know this feels hard right now, but I trust you’ll find your way”
helps them internalize a sense of capability.
7. Know When to Get Extra Help
If anxiety is stopping your teen from attending school, impacting their ability to function, or causing significant emotional distress, it may be time to reach out for professional support. Counseling can help teens:
Learn emotion regulation tools
Identify and challenge anxious thoughts
Build social confidence
Work through underlying trauma or fears
Feel less alone
Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection
Back-to-school anxiety isn’t something most teens can “just get over.” It’s something they move through - with support, patience, and the reassurance that they’re not alone.
As a parent, your steady presence is often the most powerful tool. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be the perfect calm parent. Just showing up, listening, and walking beside your teen as they face their fears makes all the difference.
And remember: just like summer, the overwhelm won’t last forever.
Looking for More Support?
If your teen is struggling with anxiety, I offer individual counseling tailored to teens and their unique needs. Whether it’s school stress, social anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, therapy can help them feel more grounded and confident.